Bored and feeling rather blue....

Ok... I am bored... It's kind of funny, cause I just (finally) got myself a new DSLR (Nikon D70) as a birthday present to myself (That's another topic of it own, by the way). Yet, here I am, talking about boredness...

Took the Friends Quiz (link from one of my friend's blog - Ok... When I get bored, I take such quizzes, don't ask me why; I have not found out the answer yet) and was told that I'm most identified with is the Ross character... Hmmm... I guess I can figure why it was that. I mean, frankly, I am unique (ok, weird, if you want to put it plainly), at least from 95% of the population in the country. My views have been and will, I guess, always be different. Infact sometimes, I wonder if I do have a view at all. It's a habit I had is that I tend to think from all angles, and that puts me at the fence. Of course, when my temper rises, that method of thoughts are thrown totally out of the window... But, majority of the time, well, I tend to be that. It gets to a point where sometimes, I don't even really know myself.

Frankly, I sometimes wonder if anyone really knows me at all. I mean, if I don't know myself at all, how could someone else knows me??? Am I a generous person? Am I a bitter person? Do I have the "green" eye? These are general characteristics which most of the time can be felt/distinguished by our actions/words. How about the unknown? The thoughts that gathers in my head; The pains that I felt but yet unknown to people; The vulnerablilities that I feel but yet not presented to the world; The fears that I have concerning everything that I have contact with; etc... etc.. etc...

Sometimes I wonder if the trials that we had faced - does it really makes you stronger? Or does it make the next trial even harder to face? Will any of those that you had faced and conquered, comes back in a bigger manifestation than it did previously? Like the depression that you have faced and thought conquered, does it comes back and in a bigger way that you have not expected it to? Why did I ask, well... I guess it seems to me that I am feeling rather blue again, despite the fact that there is nothing much to be depress about... Then again, does it really need a matter to start? Or even, without any visible cause, it will still comes back and haunt you and taunt you? Trying it's way to win this new battle? Or is there really something in the far corner of your subconcious mind that had brewed and grow to the point where it cannot be hidden from your concious mind and thus it starts it's blooming?

Nevermind... Stomach growling and eyes growing rather weary... time to ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz